The Power of Grieving

The Power of Grieving

By Panos

Grief is one of the most profound experiences we can face. Whether it comes after the loss of a parent, partner, child, sibling, or close friend, it changes us. As a relationship therapist, I have seen how grief affects not only the individual who has experienced the loss but also the people who love them. If you or your partner are grieving, know that you are not alone. There is no “right” way to grieve, and there is no timeline for healing.

When grief enters a relationship, it often changes its emotional landscape. The grieving partner may become withdrawn, irritable, emotionally numb, or overwhelmed. The supporting partner may feel helpless, uncertain, or afraid of saying the wrong thing. Both experiences are valid. Loss affects each person differently, and couples often discover that they grieve in different ways.

One film that beautifully illustrates the long-term impact of grief is Fathers and Daughters. The story follows a father, a celebrated writer, who loses his wife and raises his young daughter alone. After developing a serious illness, he is forced to entrust his daughter to relatives while undergoing treatment. Tragically, he later dies, leaving his daughter to grow up without him.

As an adult, she appears successful on the surface, yet she continues to carry unresolved grief from losing her father. Despite finding love, she struggles with intimacy, trust, and self-destructive behaviours that interfere with her relationships. The film reminds us that grief does not simply disappear because time passes. When loss is not fully processed or when someone lacks the support they need, emotional pain can surface in unexpected ways years later.

Although every person’s journey is different, the message is universal: unresolved grief can influence our relationships, our emotional wellbeing, and the way we connect with others.

Grieving requires patience—both from the person experiencing the loss and from those supporting them. Someone who has lost a loved one may feel as though their world has stopped while life around them continues. They may experience sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep, or loss of interest in everyday activities. (Symptoms, 2024) Some people may even turn to unhealthy coping strategies, such as excessive alcohol use or emotional withdrawal, in an attempt to manage overwhelming feelings. (Caparrós & Masferrer, 2021)

Supporting someone through grief does not mean having all the answers. Often, the greatest gift we can offer is simply our presence. Listening without trying to fix the pain, sitting together in silence, offering a comforting hug, or simply reminding someone they are not alone can be deeply meaningful.

There are also practical ways to help a grieving partner. Encourage gentle routines such as regular meals, adequate sleep, fresh air, and light physical activity. Respect their need for space while continuing to check in with kindness and consistency. Small acts of care—preparing a favourite meal, leaving a thoughtful note, or sharing cherished memories of the person they lost—can provide comfort during incredibly difficult moments.

It is equally important to recognise when additional support is needed. If grief becomes overwhelming, persists for a prolonged period, or begins to significantly affect daily functioning, relationships, or physical health, seeking support from a qualified mental health professional can make a meaningful difference. Therapy provides a safe space to process emotions, understand the grieving process, and develop healthy ways of coping. (Johannsen et al., 2019, pp. 69-86)

It is also important to acknowledge that grief is not limited to bereavement. People who survive life-threatening illnesses, serious accidents, heart attacks, or major surgeries often grieve the loss of the life they once knew. (Grief, Bereavement, and Coping With Loss (PDQ®), 2024) They may struggle with fear, identity changes, or uncertainty about the future. Partners can find themselves adjusting alongside them, navigating a new reality together.

Loving someone through grief can be emotionally demanding. At times, both partners may need space to care for themselves without abandoning one another. Healthy boundaries are not signs of rejection; they are often acts of compassion that allow each person to regain emotional strength while preserving the relationship.

Grief is not something we “get over.” Rather, it is something we learn to carry. Over time, the pain often softens, making room for gratitude, cherished memories, and renewed hope. Healing does not mean forgetting the person we lost. It means learning to live while continuing to honour their place in our hearts.

If you or someone you love is struggling with grief, remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is a courageous step toward healing. None of us is meant to carry loss alone.

References

(2024). Symptoms. Australian Psychological Society. https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/grief/signs-and-symptoms

Caparrós, B. & Masferrer, L. (2021). Coping Strategies and Complicated Grief in a Substance Use Disorder Sample. Frontiers in Psychology 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.624065

Johannsen, M., Damholdt, M. F., Zachariae, R., Lundorff, M., Farver-Vestergaard, I. & O'Connor, M. (2019). Psychological interventions for grief in adults: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Affective Disorders 253, pp. 69-86. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2019.04.065

(2024). Grief, Bereavement, and Coping With Loss (PDQ®). National Cancer Institute. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/advanced-cancer/caregivers/planning/bereavement-hp-pdq